‘I try my best to hide my pain, anger and loneliness towards my diagnosis’

Trina, from Cheshire, was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in February 2024. In the early days of her illness, she couldn’t bend her fingers for a few days. Later, her flare ups became so unpredictable that she had to close her business. Here, she shares her story.

“My issues started while on holiday in Spain in December 2023. I couldn’t bend a couple of fingers for two days, then I had four days of no issues but on day five, my wrists and fingers felt like I had broken them,” she explained.

“My husband had to dress and wash me and cut up my food and feed me for the next two days. Then, I returned to normal for a couple of weeks.”

Trina, who ran her own beauty salon at home, had a friend who worked in the medical profession who said she might be experiencing symptoms of rheumatoid arthritis.

“It was a medical friend who thought I may have this illness,” she said. “So after getting blood results from the GP, I paid privately to see a rheumatologist and then transferred to the NHS.”

As her illness progressed, Trina experienced her first “full body flare” - which was unbearably painful.

“After my first “full body” flare, I got pneumonia. The pain was so intense, I couldn’t sleep for days,” she described. “The hospital flare line was a seven day response time; the meds from the GP didn't touch the pain. My poor husband couldn’t help.

“I [found myself] googling the quickest way to kill myself. I felt I simply couldn’t take it anymore.”

Thankfully, Trina turned to her husband at her lowest point and shared the truth of how she was feeling. 

“I broke down and told my husband. He stayed by my side and things were escalated for medical pain relief,” she said. “I felt totally alone during this time.”

The debilitating side of Trina’s diagnosis has meant was forced to close her beauty business due to how unpredictable her flare ups could be.

“I had my own beauty salon at home, but mid January 2025 I started waking up unable to move my hands due to the pain,” she said. “[I would have to] cancel clients, which affected business. 

“[Eventually] I had to close due to not knowing when and for how long my flares would last.”

Like many others living with the difficulties of an autoimmune disease, Trina is also managing the emotional toll of her condition.

“I am naturally very active, independent and always happy and on the go,” she said. “This illness has stripped me of my beauty business; fatigue is another big thing as energy levels are just not the same. 

“Also having to cancel holidays if I’m in a flare. I try and make the effort every day to do my hair and make up so I can look OK, but I try my best to hide my pain, anger, sadness and loneliness towards this illness. 

“I sometimes feel because you look OK, you must [feel] OK!”

Trina was recommended the Wren Project by her “brilliant” rheumatology nurse and plans to start listening support in the next few weeks.

Speaking about the other support she would like to see for others living with conditions such as rheumatoid arthritis, she said she would love to have a space where you could meet with others in similar situations.

“I would love to see small, local coffee and chat support groups, perhaps run by fellow RA warriors,” she said. “Where we could meet and befriend people who know how we feel, maybe share tips and advice as face-to-face contact is so important.”

Trina shared her story with the Wren Project as part of our Wren Voices campaign. If you would like to share your experience of autoimmune disease with us, you can reach out by emailing hello@wrenproject.org.